Just letting you know where you can find me nowadays

I apologize again for the excruciatingly long blogging dry spell. I'm trying to get back into it and get inspired by fashion and daily things that interest me in life. I have been spending some time on my new Tumblr page so I'll post the link for that. Also, be sure to follow me on Twitter for more updates!


Click here for my Twitter! 
Click here for my Tumblr! 

long time, no talk

Hello, my loves.

It has been a very long time since I posted or blogged anything. I guess I have just been busy or lazy. I really just have nothing to blog about. I bet I will when the weather starts to get colder and I resume browsing fashion and beauty websites. I need to be...inspired. I suppose I could write about my life at the present moment. That is kind of boring thought. My life has been very uneventful all summer. I went clubbing lots, naturally. I also developed an extreme infatuation with a guy whom I will not mention his name. He makes me feel...good? I don't know. He just makes me feel. I have a terrible reputation of being somewhat of a cold hearted bitch but I'm really not. I'm really quite sweet. And he just makes me even sweeter. I want nothing more than for things to work out. I really think he is long term boyfriend material. This, coming from a girl who absolutely refuses to call anyone her boyfriend.

Until next time (when I actually have something interesting to post about)

quote of the day

"I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."

— Audrey Hepburn

not myself tonight...or any other night

I don't even know who I am anymore. I haven't been myself lately and I'm not quite sure if it's a good thing or if it's a bad thing. All I know is that I just feel...different. I think I've lost myself. I'm so pessimistic and cynical and I don't know why. I used to be so happy and optimistic. I'm not satisfied with anything anymore. Material things or not, I'm just not satisfied. I wonder if I seem different to those around me. If only they could see things from my perspective. I just feel as if I've let go of everything...my hopes and dreams. I'll go out and party and the drinks will be flowing but that's only temporary happiness. It's not genuine at all and what I strive for is genuine happiness. My world is falling apart and all the bullshit that's going on in this crazy world isn't helping. It hurts me to see all these disasters happening. It's amazing how I can feel for those who are feeling the effects of the disasters first hand. That's my humanity. There's still some of the old me left, but its buried deep inside the new me, whoever that is. I saw this somewhere yesterday and I really liked it:

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside each of us. He said, "My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us. One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith." The grandson thought about it for a moment and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?" The wise old Cherokee replied simply, "The one you feed."

This little story relates to my situation right now. The two wolves inside of me and fighting for control over me....and apparently it's the evil that's winning.

it's been awhile...

I'm back! After what seemed like a super long break from blogging, I'm trying to get back in the habit after I had a few nudges to post more from some people on formspring, so here I am! Alot has been going on in my life lately and I'm having a ball. I've been up to my usual shenanigans, hanging with my girls, shopping, and of course hitting the clubs. I just realized I didn't post one single entry during the whole month of April...wow! I guess I'll have to make up for that this month. Anyway, right now I'm laying in bed (can't sleep yet again) and watching True Blood. I can't wait for the 3rd season to start next month! It'll definitely satisfy my...thirst with Vampire Diaries coming to an end. I'll try to do more personal posts like this every week. Until next time...;)

sometimes it feels like i live in grand central stationnnn

I haven't blogged in awhile and that's mainly because I'm too busy with life and I just haven't really felt very inspired by anything to blog about. There is one thing I am very, very excited for and its coming up very quickly: my birthday. Its actually on Friday, March 26th and I think this may be the most extravagant I've ever had. I used to not be very into big elaborate birthday parties, but within the past couple years I've grown to love big, planned out parties. I think I'd make a great event planner (my real dream is interior designing though). Anyway, for my party, I'm going out to dinner with a few close friends and than after that, I'm gonna party my ass off at Vanilla Room. I meant to spend the whole month of March getting ready for this, but I got a bit lazy, I guess. This week has really been crunch time. I've been working out like crazy, eating healthy, and giving myself a luxurious Dior facial every night. I've got the perfect outfit! I bought the dress from www.asos.com and I got the shoes from Aldo. Tomorrow, I'm going out to buy the last pieces to my outfit (a self adhesive silicon bra from La Senza and a clutch from Aldo). On Friday I'm going to the spa to get my hair and makeup done and a 75 minute pedicure. I'm very excited and I can't wait to blog about how my party went!

PS: I'm definitely ready for my champagne, and shots of Patron! ;)

can't this bitch just disappear forever?

So, I had a friend last year who I considered a really good friend of mine. We got along great, I absolutely loved having her around. The friendship ended last year, early summer, I think. I won't go into details too much, but she blabbed to the guy I was seeing at the time, some of which she said wasn't true, but that ended my "relationship" with him. And her. Anyway, it's weird because lately I've been missing her a lot. I miss having a friend as crazy as I am. I miss going for sushi and getting drunk and taking pictures. I miss having sleepovers, I miss sunbathing on top of the big hill at the skatepark and singing "Caress Me Down" by Sublime. I miss everything we used to do together. As much as I hate to admit it, I do. I would like to be friends with her again, but I think there was too much done in the past on both parts for us to go back to how we were before. I wish I could rewind and re-do some things differently. Sometimes I wonder if she feels the same way but has trouble admitting it like I do. Here I am admitting it though.

As much as I've felt myself missing that friendship in the past little while, I found out something extremely disturbing, involving her. I recently found myself developing sort of a "crush" on this guy I was hanging out with. He would come to the strip club with me, I'd accompany him to the club...yeah. It wasn't anything serious, we only hooked up once or twice. It was kind of the type of thing where we were attracted to each other and had fun together. He was such a gentleman too, always paying for drinks - even though I only drink the expensive stuff. If I was at the strip club, I'd call him to come and see me and than at closing time we'd go back to his place to "watch movies". On those two occasions we watched Goodfellas and Entourage. I didn't really pay attention though. Anyway, on Friday my best friend told me that my ex-friend recently hooked up with him as well. I was absolutely sick to my stomach, and the four martinis I had didn't help much either. I'm just so upset, distraught, disgusted, appalled...and just...sad? I don't know. I know it's not HER fault since I don't know how she'd know about me hooking up with him. It's HIS fault. Here he is hooking up with two girls, ex-friends, who he knows are enemies. I feel like such a fool. Mostly because I've been missing her, and than I hear this. Things would just be so much easier if she just disappeared. Forever.

I just miss the good days, when everything was simple. When everyone got along...

being bad feels pretty good

It’s okay to be extremely narcissistic and vain sometimes, right? I mean, it’s just like exaggerated confidence, which is good. It’s good to be confident. What about superficial? Is that a bad thing? I don’t think so. Sometimes some of these are words people have used to describe me. Whatever. Anyway, what about this so-called “bad girl” image? I appear to be rather innocent, but those who think that are terribly mistaken. I am really the farthest thing from innocent. I’m always the girl who’s down to do things that could be potentially dangerous and get me into some sort of trouble. I love taking chances à la Russian roulette. I don’t know what this tough exterior is all about, but I do know that I hate expressing any sort of emotion. I don’t want to get hurt, so by not showing emotion, it makes me less prone to being hurt right? So no one knows my weaknesses. I’ve never said “I love you” to a guy before. Ever. I’ve thought it of course, but that little sentence has never passed my lips. Some girls have used the term “man eater” to insult me before, but then again those are the types of girls who tell their boyfriend they love them after about 2 weeks of dating. I don't think of being called a man eater as an insult though. It doesn't phase me, and why should it? It's almost as if once the guy I'm after shows the same feelings towards me, it's onto the next one. I can't handle that. I like a challenge. I love when men play hard to get.

happy valentine's day!

The day is finally here, Valentine's Day and I hope everyone is having a great one. Whether your V-Day is a we-day or a me-day, just make sure you're loving yourself. Honestly, I try to hard to stay positive but deep down I'm actually kind of depressed. Valentine's Day last year was just phenomenal. My friend and I hosted a carefully planned out and decorated party at her house complete with a stripper pole and a lingerie dress code. We made a chocolate cake decorated with little red and pink heart and sprinkles. We made frilly drinks and just had the best time. We went all out. Of course, I had a boy there. Someone who I grew to care for deeply, but in the end it just wasn't meant to be. Last Valentine's Day was a night I'll have engraved in my memory forever. Anyway, here I am dwelling on the past again. I just need to continue looking forward and staying positive...

Happy Valentine's Day!
xox

time to live and let go

Sometimes the feeling of nostalgia brings on a sudden rush of euphoria…if only real life could still be as euphoric as some of these memories are. I try not to dwell on the past so much, but lately it’s so strong that I can’t help but succumb to those feelings. I’m in a bad mood 24/7 lately and I don’t know why. Actually, I do know why- it’s cause I keep dwelling on the past. Of course there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel right? I hope so. Too many major negative events went on last year and it all happened so quickly that it gave me whiplash. Things fell apart, but now my job is to start over and start fresh. Time to focus on the future and the big plans I have for this year, 2010. I’m going to try to be a better person, as hard as that may seem. There is something that semi-describes my current situation and whenever I’m having a hard time, I read it and it makes me feel better knowing that in the end, things will fall together and go my way…

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that they can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you’ll eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."


Quote from Marilyn Monroe. She was a much wiser woman than people gave her credit for. I hope one day people will think of me the same way. I hope that once I change in the new year, I’ll learn to let go. I think with enough time, it will happen. Those good things fell apart, and I really hope that the better things will start falling together soon and I sure hope they’re good enough to bring me out of this sadness and make it all better! C’est la vie!

loooooove: interior design

So I'm thinking about taking whatever necessary schooling I need to get into the interior design field. I've always had a passion for making living spaces beautiful and I'd like to make that my career in the future. It's something I'm confident about, I just think it's something I was born to do. I honestly think that it's one of the things I am great at. I'm constantly out buying new things for my bedroom and improving it in some way all the time. I don't have the biggest bedroom, so a decorating trick I use is mirrors. Mirrors are good for making small spaces appear bigger (and great for your own personal vanity if you're anything like me). As I've previously mentioned before, my bedroom has a theme. It's girly, dainty and a little bit French inspired. The colours baby blue and light pink remind me of Marie Antoinette...actually it reminds me of the colours in one of my favorite movies, Marie Antoinette starring Kirsten Dunst. My room just screams "princess!". I've got a pretty chandelier, Marilyn Monroe pictures, an oh-so-sexy Rolling Stone magazine poster with Taylor Lautner on it courtesy of my best friend Stephanie, beautiful paintings, two big mirrors, a big elegant white fireplace, pretty picture frames and sooo many candles! Oh, and my bed is like sleeping on a cloud. Just call me Princess Nicky ;)

life's good, but some things are missing

I'm happy to say that I'm happy and content right now. Life's going good for me. I'm constantly going shopping for new things for my bedroom. On my last little trip, I bought three dainty looking picture frames; one is pearl white with vintage looking silver accents, the other is entirely glass, and the last one is small and blue (it reminds me of Marie Antoinette!). I also picked up an extremely soft and comfortable faux mink throw blanket for my bed. I already have one, but I needed another! I got various shapes and scents of pillar candles (ginger flower, vanilla bourbon, and "Tuscan sky"), a bunch of candle holders, and a patent black faux snakeskin jewellry box. I just love getting pretty new things for my pretty little bedroom!

The social life's going good, although I can't say the same for the love life. I suit being single too much to date, I guess. I change my mind so often, I don't think I could commit to one boy...haha just kidding. Obviously if I were to come across a sweet guy who meets all my standards than I could probably work something out. Okay, so back to the subject of the social life...my best friend recently returned from Mexico so I'm happy about that! Another good friend of mine recently broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years. I wish her the best, but I can honestly say that I'm pretty stoked to see what kind of trouble we'll get into at the clubs partying it up as two young, hot single girls!

a special blog dedicated to dolce

I am in tears as I write this post to remember my baby boy, Dolce. He was my cat and only 1 year old. He was the most unique cat I have ever known. he was half Bengal and half Manx and had no tail. He was very big and muscular for a cat. He resembled a little lion. He always layed with his front paws stretched in front of him with one paw over the other. Despite his gigantic appearance, he was really just a sweet cat. He had the meow of a small kitten and he loved to cuddle. He was such a one of a kind cat with so much character and no other cat will ever measure up to him. I hate to sound dramatic, but this cat was my life. I didn't see him for a couple days and I began to worry. It wasn't like him to stay out all night. Today I went to go looking for him again and decided to look on the back porch, as I saw my dog sniffing around earlier. We have a patio furniture set with a tarp over it, so it doesn't get ruined from the rain and I thought I should check under there, since he used to hide under there sometimes. I bent down and looked only to find him laying on his side, mouth open. I knew he wasn't alive. I burst into tears, and I have been crying since 12:30 this afternoon when I found him. My grandparents said they saw him on Sunday and he apparently was in a fight with some stupid big black cat that stalks around our house trying to fight our cats. When my dad went to go remove his stiff, lifeless body, we noticed that he had a huge gash on his back ankle and that his eyes were open. Another cat couldn't have done that much damage, so I figure either a raccoon or a coyote got to him last night and that he used whatever life he had left in him to come home. I'm just happy he came home...

Dolce "Big Boy" Forsythe

August 30th 2008 - January 19th 2010

You were a wonderful cat and will be greatly missed by everyone.

Rest In Peace, Baby Boy

louboutins!

Guess who's getting her very first pair of LOUBOUTINS very soon? I am! Oh, but they'll only be the first of many ;)

i like to think life is going goood right now

Alright, so I haven't really been blogging as much as I'd like to and I have SO many great editorials, ad campaigns, and quotes to share with you all. I've been busy with my social life as always. Last Friday I went to a favorite spot of mine, Club Climax. I think I had about 5 or 6 shots of Patron! Patron has to be the best tasting tequila I've ever had - I almost didn't even need a lime! Despite the stupid drama between my friend and her stupid boyfriend, it was a good night. The guy I'm into right now ended up coming there to meet me and we stayed for awhile and than I went home with him. Could this be a new crush? I spent the rest of the weekend just relaxing at home with my dogs. I'm just so excited for 2010 to actually get going. It's actually off to a good start! Oh yeah, and happy MLK Day! One of the most important men in American history!

a little sexual frustration

I'm going to be completely honest here: I am generally good looking and a great catch for any guy who enjoys a woman who knows her way around the bedroom and the kitchen, but why can't I seem to find a boyfriend? There have been many guys I've gotten close with and whom I am very attracted to, but why is it that no one seems to want to start a relationship with me? It's like these guys are thinking that I am good enough to fuck, but not good enough to date. It really bothers me! I suppose my high expectations don't help my dilemma much either though. Or maybe its the fact that I'm somewhat of a diva? The opposite sex just confuses me way too much. Especially the guy with whom I most recently had sexual relations with. For example last weekend I invited him to come over to a little party I was at and he said he was busy - I didn't hear from him for a week and of course I'm not going to be the one to break the silence after he shot me down. Last night I went to bed fairly early and this morning when I woke up I had a text from him saying, "Are you still up?", and this is about a week after he was too busy for me. This text I received from him was from around 2AM. It wasn't him wanting a drunken booty call, that's for sure because he doesn't drink or do drugs. My love life is fucked. I just want to settle down and get a steady boyfriend already!

a glimpse of my possible future

I got a glimpse of my possible future life the other day as I was driving with my father: It was a huge, beautiful house. This mansion had a sizable guest house (mini replica of the mansion itself), a tennis court, a pool, and a circle driveway with a fountain in the middle. The front yard was well manicured with lush green grass, and the property was of course gated. My dream house. When I looked at that house I got lost in thought thinking of what kind of people must reside in such a mansion. It wasn't a mega-mansion, it was just...perfect. I imagined a wealthy family with a nice background. The man of the house, a Yale or Harvard alum who was either an attorney or some sort of doctor or plastic surgeon. Than his wife, the typical trophy wife, sipping martinis and always heavily medicated - a type of the Ivana breed. Or maybe even an older Victoria Beckham. Both of them in their 50's, actually the man might be in his early 60's. As for children, I imagined there to be 3 of them - two boys and a girl. All in the ages ranging from 20 to 25 and of course all of them blessed with good looks. The eldest son following in his father's footsteps to be a prestigious doctor or lawyer. The yuppie bookworm type, still impeccably goodlooking. The only daughter, the middle child is the typical heiress type living off of her parents wealth. Actually, not quite the typical heiress, as this girl doesn't party at nightclubs every chance she gets. She has plans to become a famous chef, or schoolteacher. As for the youngest son, is known for his charm and goodlooks. Always very precocious, he goes to the same university his father and older brother went to. He's on the football team, all the girls love him, yet he's deeper than most rich kid jock's. This is the type of family that go on golfing trips regularly, wear argyle, Lacoste and other designer labels, and drive luxury vehicles such as Range Rover, Mercedes Benz, and Cadillac. Oh, and of course they have animals. An English Bulldog and maybe even a Labrador or two. The house and family I have just described is more probable and realistic if I were living in the United States, since families like these are less common here in Canada. Anyway, there's a part of me who wants to marry into a family like that. I'd fit in nicely and eventually, I'd be one of those stay at home housewives who's always medicated and sipping double martinis and reeking of either Chanel or Dolce & Gabbana and of course dripping in diamonds and pearls and designer labels driving around the BMW my husband bought me. Yes, that would be a good life indeed.

sexual promiscuity

pro⋅mis⋅cu⋅ous

[pruh-mis-kyoo-uhs]

 -adjective
1. characterized by or involving indiscriminate mingling or association, esp. having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis.
2. casual; irregular; haphazard. 
Synonyms:
1. unchaste. 2. hodgepodge, confused, mixed, jumbled. 3. careless.

Is casual sex necessarily a bad thing? I know people that engage in casual sex and that are promiscuous are generally considered sluts, whores, and whatever else means the same as those words. In the 60's casual sex was considered hip, hence the "swinging 60's", but nowadays it's frowned upon. I just don't understand things like this. Back then, I'm sure practicing safe sex was the last thing on anyone's mind. Now we've got condoms, birth control, and everything else. Now, there are ways to protect against STD's, STI's and unwanted pregnancies. In reality, "swinging" would be much safer to do nowadays. I think having sex casually is healthy as long as you're taking the right precautions. Personally, I just don't see any harm in having a little (or a lot) of fun aka sexual activities. Promiscuity isn't really a bad thing. If it's not your thing, than it's not your thing. And if it is - go ahead and fuck each other's brains out!

j'adore!!

astrology, Audrey Hepburn, burlesque, candy, champagne, Chanel, chocolate, cooking, diamonds, Dior, Dolce & Gabbana, dreaming, euphoria, Europe, extravagance, fashion, Francais, Frank Sinatra, fruit, football, Godiva truffles, glamorous lifestyle, Gossip Girl, Hugh Hefner, interior design, Italian cuisine, Karl Lagerfeld, karma, Las Vegas, lingerie, Louboutins, Mae West, Marc Jacobs, Marie Antoinette, marijuana, Marilyn Monroe, martinis, music, my German & Irish heritage, New York, night life, night time, nostalgia, orchids, Paris, Playboy, porn star shots, reading, sex, silver foxes, studs & sequins, sushi, storms, tanning, True Blood, twitter, vampires, Vampire Diaries, Vancouver, vanilla scented, vegetarianism, writing

party 24/7

I can honestly say that the Sexxxmas party was somewhat of a success. I drank a lot, danced a little and had an all around good time for the few hours we were there. After being there for awhile, we drove on over to Club Climax (a sweet strip club in Maple Ridge) and drank some more and danced some more there. The strippers this time weren't really as hot as the ones last time I was there. My attention wasn't focused on the naked ladies though, I had my sights set on someone else - the bartender! Boy, was he fine. I ordered a martini called the 'Sexy Bartender' with a wink and a smile. Oh, the irony. Oh yeah and I invited a certain fine ass guy along with me too, and he drove me home. What a successful night!

Oh, and my long distance best friend Jenn gave me a nice Christmas gift too. A picture frame with a picture of us driving in her yellow jeep. It says "Friends go together - wherever, whenever." such a sweet thing.