karolin wolter in tush #1 2010

quote of the day

"The last thing a young woman needs is another picture of a sexy pop star writhing in sand, covered in grease, touching herself. My image was an issue at my record label. I fought for months and cried at meetings. I got criticized for being arrogant because if you're sure of yourself as a woman they say you're a bitch whereas if you're a man and you're strong-willed it's normal."

— Lady Gaga

can't this bitch just disappear forever?

So, I had a friend last year who I considered a really good friend of mine. We got along great, I absolutely loved having her around. The friendship ended last year, early summer, I think. I won't go into details too much, but she blabbed to the guy I was seeing at the time, some of which she said wasn't true, but that ended my "relationship" with him. And her. Anyway, it's weird because lately I've been missing her a lot. I miss having a friend as crazy as I am. I miss going for sushi and getting drunk and taking pictures. I miss having sleepovers, I miss sunbathing on top of the big hill at the skatepark and singing "Caress Me Down" by Sublime. I miss everything we used to do together. As much as I hate to admit it, I do. I would like to be friends with her again, but I think there was too much done in the past on both parts for us to go back to how we were before. I wish I could rewind and re-do some things differently. Sometimes I wonder if she feels the same way but has trouble admitting it like I do. Here I am admitting it though.

As much as I've felt myself missing that friendship in the past little while, I found out something extremely disturbing, involving her. I recently found myself developing sort of a "crush" on this guy I was hanging out with. He would come to the strip club with me, I'd accompany him to the club...yeah. It wasn't anything serious, we only hooked up once or twice. It was kind of the type of thing where we were attracted to each other and had fun together. He was such a gentleman too, always paying for drinks - even though I only drink the expensive stuff. If I was at the strip club, I'd call him to come and see me and than at closing time we'd go back to his place to "watch movies". On those two occasions we watched Goodfellas and Entourage. I didn't really pay attention though. Anyway, on Friday my best friend told me that my ex-friend recently hooked up with him as well. I was absolutely sick to my stomach, and the four martinis I had didn't help much either. I'm just so upset, distraught, disgusted, appalled...and just...sad? I don't know. I know it's not HER fault since I don't know how she'd know about me hooking up with him. It's HIS fault. Here he is hooking up with two girls, ex-friends, who he knows are enemies. I feel like such a fool. Mostly because I've been missing her, and than I hear this. Things would just be so much easier if she just disappeared. Forever.

I just miss the good days, when everything was simple. When everyone got along...

quote of the day

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need is to love without getting tired. "

— Mother Teresa

charlotte hoyer in soko #4 winter 2010

lofficiel hommes china february 2010 (sexy as fuck!)

All I have to say is, DAAAMN! This model is hot, and I'm not talking about the girl, although she is beautiful. This gorgeous gentleman is Russian model, Arthur Kulkov and I am in LOVE! He reminds me of Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl in this shoot. I love the sexual playfulness of it. The lovely lady is Ukrainian model, Tatyana Ruban.

robert pattinson in details march 2010

frida gustavsson for vogue germany march 2010

quote of the day

"I found his work very interesting and never banal. There was always some attraction to death, his designs were sometimes dehumanized. Who knows, perhaps after flirting with death too often, death attracts you."

— Karl Lagerfeld, on Alexander McQueen's death

megan fox for armani (video)

sophie vlaming for harper's bazaar december 2009

being bad feels pretty good

It’s okay to be extremely narcissistic and vain sometimes, right? I mean, it’s just like exaggerated confidence, which is good. It’s good to be confident. What about superficial? Is that a bad thing? I don’t think so. Sometimes some of these are words people have used to describe me. Whatever. Anyway, what about this so-called “bad girl” image? I appear to be rather innocent, but those who think that are terribly mistaken. I am really the farthest thing from innocent. I’m always the girl who’s down to do things that could be potentially dangerous and get me into some sort of trouble. I love taking chances à la Russian roulette. I don’t know what this tough exterior is all about, but I do know that I hate expressing any sort of emotion. I don’t want to get hurt, so by not showing emotion, it makes me less prone to being hurt right? So no one knows my weaknesses. I’ve never said “I love you” to a guy before. Ever. I’ve thought it of course, but that little sentence has never passed my lips. Some girls have used the term “man eater” to insult me before, but then again those are the types of girls who tell their boyfriend they love them after about 2 weeks of dating. I don't think of being called a man eater as an insult though. It doesn't phase me, and why should it? It's almost as if once the guy I'm after shows the same feelings towards me, it's onto the next one. I can't handle that. I like a challenge. I love when men play hard to get.

quote of the day

"A simple "I love you" means more than money."

— Frank Sinatra

happy valentine's day!

The day is finally here, Valentine's Day and I hope everyone is having a great one. Whether your V-Day is a we-day or a me-day, just make sure you're loving yourself. Honestly, I try to hard to stay positive but deep down I'm actually kind of depressed. Valentine's Day last year was just phenomenal. My friend and I hosted a carefully planned out and decorated party at her house complete with a stripper pole and a lingerie dress code. We made a chocolate cake decorated with little red and pink heart and sprinkles. We made frilly drinks and just had the best time. We went all out. Of course, I had a boy there. Someone who I grew to care for deeply, but in the end it just wasn't meant to be. Last Valentine's Day was a night I'll have engraved in my memory forever. Anyway, here I am dwelling on the past again. I just need to continue looking forward and staying positive...

Happy Valentine's Day!
xox

mariacarla boscono in vogue deutsch march 2010